So Damn Unpretty
“You can buy your hair if it won’t grow. You can fix your nose if you say so. You can buy all the make up that M.A.C. can make. But if you can look inside you, find out who am I too. Be in a position to make me feel so damn unpretty. Yeah, I’ll make you feel unpretty too.”
Have you had or do you have someone in your life who makes you feel unpretty? Or maybe you are the one who makes someone else or yourself feel unpretty?
What does pretty mean? What image springs into your head when you hear that word? Have you created a person, place or object? If a person, were they young or old? What features did you create first? Was there a particular look or style or colour or religion? What is pretty?
To me pretty is not about looks, pretty is something far deeper, something from someone’s soul and it is something so delicate it is like cradling a newborn child in your hand. It is so delicate that “pretty” can become “unpretty” in the blink of an eye. You can make and be made unpretty with a word, a glance, an action or a thought and it is a wound that goes deep and can take a lifetime to heal.
I was made to feel so unpretty for years. To me that meant not looking in the mirror and if I did being unable to see anything worth looking at. It meant being self conscious around anyone – even people I knew. Worthless. That was a word that was used many times and after a while you believe it. Stupid. Do you know when someone tells you that constantly you become it as you stop using your brain. Selfish. So you stop caring about yourself and live for others and its exhausting as you never replenish what you have inside to give. You become barren emotionally. So few words and yet so deep and so painful to reflect on them, even now.
I’m talking about this as an adult but lets ask ourselves about when you speak to your children…. what words do you use?
If they ask something too often, if they don’t understand something you’ve said or if they’ve made a mistake – does STUPID in any form come from your lips…. it stays with them and they believe what you say. Do you BELITTLE them inadvertently when you are tired or busy? Do you MAKE LIGHT of their achievement because actually it isn’t over and beyond YOUR expectation… they will eventually try too hard and that will destroy all the confidence they have in doing anything with success. Do you do things for them for so long that they fear to try it themselves? Do you ACTIVELY LISTEN to them when they tell you about their day, how they felt and what they achieved…. your lack of hearing their words impacts their self worth – if no one listens why do I talk….
Be aware of your impact. Whether it is thoughts, words or deeds, they impact someone or something – don’t let it be in a negative way – choose your words carefully and as my mother always said… “if you haven’t got anything nice to say, don’t speak.”
Make someone feel pretty today. You will feel pretty from the inside out too.
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