Step Away From the Light
Sometimes when I sit down to write I have absolutely nothing to write about and then into my head pops a title. I have spent a wonderful day massaging and having lunch with a very deserving lady who really has and still battles with her fair share of life challenges, so why this subject?
I’m just going to let the words come as I have nothing, genuinely nothing, to say on this matter…..
A spotlight is used on stage to highlight, give focus, make stand out, present, put centre stage the person or object it shines on. Why? Because that is where they want you to look and where you should allow your concentration to go.
Do I love to be there – no! Quite simply that is my idea of torture but if I have to be there I find it very easy to step into the light and do what is needed. I am much happier if I step away from the light and beaver quietly away where no one really notices me but notices that things get done, they feel better or life is just somehow brighter. I don’t need them to know its me, it’s not about me. I am all about making someone else feel better about themselves or their life.
When to step into the light, step into your space and step into your power? When you are at your most uncomfortable or when you are ready to take on the world? In my opinion that is a personal choice. I will do it when I have something to say, when I have something that is bigger than myself to put across or do or when I think someone needs me to stand by them in that bright pool of light (even if they can’t see me there).
When to step away from the light? When you have failed or maybe when you are low or when you need to reflect and take stock? It could be any of those really couldn’t it? For me it is the reflect and take stock idea or when I just want to be invisible. Even though today has been a beautiful honour for me to take care of someone, it has taken it out of me and I need to step away and draw back into myself – I need to be invisible so no one else gets to take a piece of me. I am not complaining – this IS WHAT I DO – it’s what I have chosen – to give myself 100% to ensure they can do what they need to step back into their light and breathe again – but when I am done I need to replenish me.
If you imagine one of those bags you can keep clothes in, where you attach the vacuum and suck the air out – when I give my energy, whether via massage or reiki, I feel like that bag when I am done. If I see two or three people and do nothing to add the air (the breath) back in in-between, I have nothing to give, absolutely nothing and I am simply a hard, lifeless, outer with everything inside me squashed, depleted and no longer able to function as they once did. This is where I step away, go into myself and breathe.
It sometimes takes an hour, sometimes half a day and if I have been very remiss, it can end in tears and overwhelm. I have been very remiss…. but, words of encouragement from one friend and a virtual hug from another and I am getting back to being me, I can hear and feel that breath forming in the lowest part of my abdomen. As I breathe in I take with it the words, the hugs and the love I know is sent my way. I have the knowledge that I am exhausted because I am doing something good for someone else, I am depleted because I have stopped loving and caring for me, I am my own boss and need to just give myself permission to have a tea break and quiet time. If ever there was a time to put yourself on the naughty step, this is mine.
If I am tired and emotional because I have stood in the spotlight and given the very best of myself then I am okay with that and will gladly now take a bow, step away from the light and retire to a hot bath and a nice cup of peppermint tea.
Ask yourself if you want to be in that light and if its feeling too bright ask yourself what you are going to do; stay or step away?
So… when a title for a blog comes to me I just write….. I think maybe its my higher self talking, reminding me, taking care of me, being my guide and my conscience…. who knows!
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